"Garl, adjust the slurry dispensers. Garl, fetch more corpses. Garl, quit crying and give me your brain tissue. If he doesn't stop being so rude, I'm quitting."

„Garl, stell den Schlammapparat neu ein. Garl, hol mir mehr Leichen. Garl, hör auf zu flennen und gib mir dein Hirngewebe. Wenn er weiter so gemein zu mir ist, dann kündige ich."

Irrer Assistent

{T}, mille eine Karte: Erzeuge {C}. (Um eine Karte zu millen, lege die oberste Karte deiner Bibliothek auf deinen Friedhof.)

"Garl, ajusta los canales de lodo. Garl, tráeme más cuerpos. Garl, deja de llorar y dame tu tejido cerebral. Si no deja de ser tan grosero, renuncio".

Asistente desquiciado

{T}, moler una carta: Agrega {C}. (Para moler una carta, pon la primera carta de tu biblioteca en tu cementerio.)

« Garl, ajuste les distributeurs de gruau. Garl, va me chercher d'autres cadavres. Garl, cesse de pleurnicher et donne-moi un bout de ta cervelle. S'il ne commence pas à être plus poli, je vais me barrer. »

Assistant dément

{T}, meulez une carte : Ajoutez {C}. (Pour meuler une carte, mettez la carte du dessus de votre bibliothèque dans votre cimetière.)

"Garl, ripara i contenitori della melma. Garl, vai a prendere altri cadaveri. Garl, smetti di lamentarti e dammi la tua materia grigia. Se non la smette di essere così sgarbato, mi licenzio."

Assistente Pazzo

{T}, Macina una carta: Aggiungi {C}. (Per macinare una carta, metti nel tuo cimitero la prima carta del tuo grimorio.)

「ガルー、懸濁液の容器を調整してくれ。ガルー、もっと多くの死体を取ってこい。ガルー、泣くのは止めてお前の脳組織をよこせ。こんな横暴を止めないなら、辞めますからね。」

錯乱した助手

{T}, カードを１枚切削する：{C}を加える。（カードを切削するとは、あなたのライブラリーの一番上からカードをあなたの墓地に置くことである。）

"Garl, ajuste o processador de chorume. Garl, vá pegar mais cadáveres. Garl, pare de chorar e me dê seu tecido cerebral. Se ele não deixar de ser tão mal-educado, eu me demito."

Assistente Insano

{T}, triture um card: Adicione {C}. (Para triturar um card, coloque o card do topo de seu grimório em seu cemitério.)

「嘎耳，把泥浆机调一下。嘎耳，再搬几具尸体来。嘎耳，别哭了，把你的脑组织给我。如果他一直这么粗鲁，我就不干了。」

狂乱助手

{T}，磨一张牌：加{C}。（磨一张牌的流程是将你牌库顶的牌置入你的坟墓场。）

「嘎耳，把泥漿機調一下。嘎耳，再搬幾具屍體來。嘎耳，別哭了，把你的腦組織給我。如果他一直這麼粗魯，我就不幹了。」

狂亂助手

{T}，磨一張牌：加{C}。（磨一張牌的流程是將你牌庫頂的牌置入你的墳墓場。）

Deranged Assistant

{T}, Mill a card: Add {C}. (To mill a card, put the top card of your library into your graveyard.)

Innistrad Remastered

Commander Masters

Double Masters 2022

Commander Legends

Ultimate Masters

{T}, Put the top card of your library into your graveyard: Add {C}.

Once Deranged Assistant’s ability has been activated, it can’t be reversed for any reason. If you activate it while casting a spell and discover you can’t produce enough mana to pay that spell’s costs, the spell is reversed. The spell returns to whatever zone you were casting it from. You may reverse other mana abilities you activated while casting the spell, but Deranged Assistant’s ability can’t be reversed. You’ll still have any mana the ability produced, and the milled card will still be in your graveyard.