Tomek Larek

Skullport Merchant

When Skullport Merchant enters the battlefield, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
{1}{B}, Sacrifice another creature or a Treasure: Draw a card.

When this creature enters, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
{1}{B}, Sacrifice another creature or a Treasure: Draw a card.

Fblthp, Impossibly Lost

When one or more of your opponents are dealt combat damage during your turn, draw two cards. If your library has no cards in it, you win the game. Fblthp's owner shuffles him into their library. (If you draw from an empty library this way, you still win the game.)

Fblthp, Knows the Way

Domain — Fblthp's power is equal to the number of basic land types among lands you control.
When Fblthp enters, search your library for up to X basic land cards with different names, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.

Ore-Rich Stalactite // Cosmium Catalyst

{T}: Add {R}. Spend this mana only to cast an instant or sorcery spell.
Craft with four or more red instant and/or sorcery cards {3}{R}{R} ({3}{R}{R}, Exile this artifact, Exile the four or more from your graveyard: Return this card transformed under its owner's control. Craft only as a sorcery.)

Years of adventure and adversity on the open seas did not prepare Brog for the humiliation of losing a sparring match to a cogwork doll less than half his size.

Cogwork Wrestler

Flash
When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -2/-0 until end of turn.

When they ran short on cannonballs, they went for the pots and pans.

Broadside Bombardiers

Menace, haste
Boast — Sacrifice another creature or artifact: This creature deals damage equal to 2 plus the sacrificed permanent's mana value to any target. (Activate only if this creature attacked this turn and only once each turn.)

Everyone comments on the buttons, but few appreciate the pedals.

Seasoned Buttoneer

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Octo Opus

When this enchantment enters, create a 4/4 blue Octopus Performer creature token named Contortionist with "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may fold this token in half." (It becomes 2/2, then 1/1, ½/½, and so on.)
Sacrifice this enchantment: Draw a card and an additional card for each of Contortionist's folds.

Magar of the Magic Strings

{1}{B}{R}: Note the name of target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard and put it onto the battlefield face down. It's a 3/3 creature with "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may create a copy of the card with the noted name. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost" and "If this creature would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else."

"If people are always on the edge of their seats, we can save money on chair backs."
—Myra the Magnificent

Leading Performance

Choose two letters. Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control whose name begins with either of the chosen letters.

Contortionist // Contortionist

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may fold this token in half.

"If the acrobatic show doesn't wow the audience, we have no one to blame but our elves."
—Myra the Magnificent

Atomwheel Acrobats

Whenever you roll a 1 or 2, put that many +1/+1 counters on this creature.
{2}{G}: Roll a six-sided die.

"My Abattoir Ghoul deck is unstoppable. Wait, 1996 World Champion?"
—Johnny, to Spike

Aardwolf's Advantage

Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain alpha strike until end of turn. (A creature with alpha strike has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

A Real Handful

As long as one or more hands are touching this creature, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching this creature, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching this creature, it has lifelink.