Mike Burns

Karn, the Great Creator

Activated abilities of artifacts your opponents control can't be activated.
+1: Until your next turn, up to one target noncreature artifact becomes an artifact creature with power and toughness each equal to its mana value.
−2: You may reveal an artifact card you own from outside the game or choose a face-up artifact card you own in exile. Put that card into your hand.

Activated abilities of artifacts your opponents control can't be activated.
[+1]: Until your next turn, up to one target noncreature artifact becomes an artifact creature with power and toughness each equal to its mana value.
[−2]: You may reveal an artifact card you own from outside the game or choose a face-up artifact card you own in exile. Put that card into your hand.

"Invite your friends! Invite your family! Invite some strangers! Tonight we feast!"

Kwain, Itinerant Meddler

{T}: Each player may draw a card, then each player who drew a card this way gains 1 life.

"I am once again bursting with discarded theories. Disposal imminent."

Sanitation Automaton

When Sanitation Automaton enters the battlefield, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

When this creature enters, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

"When the herd moves, so should you."
—Yon Basrel, Oran-Rief survivalist

Crash of Rhino Beetles

Trample
Crash of Rhino Beetles gets +10/+10 as long as you control ten or more lands.

Trample
This creature gets +10/+10 as long as you control ten or more lands.

"Nature is not always gentle or kind, but all life begets life."
—Marwyn of Llanowar

Deathbloom Thallid

When Deathbloom Thallid dies, create a 1/1 green Saproling creature token.

When this creature dies, create a 1/1 green Saproling creature token.

"The ruin of the past is the topsoil of the future."
—Sokar, former Nef-crop initiate

Quarry Beetle

When Quarry Beetle enters the battlefield, you may return target land card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

When this creature enters, you may return target land card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Soulstinger

When Soulstinger enters the battlefield, put two -1/-1 counters on target creature you control.
When Soulstinger dies, you may put a -1/-1 counter on target creature for each -1/-1 counter on Soulstinger.

When this creature enters, put two -1/-1 counters on target creature you control.
When this creature dies, you may put a -1/-1 counter on target creature for each -1/-1 counter on this creature.

The Crowd Goes Wild

Assist (Another player can pay up to {X} of this spell's cost. You choose the value of X.)
Support X. (Put a +1/+1 counter on each of up to X target creatures.)
Each creature with a +1/+1 counter on it gains trample until end of turn.

Ramunap Hydra

Vigilance, reach, trample
Ramunap Hydra gets +1/+1 as long as you control a Desert.
Ramunap Hydra gets +1/+1 as long as there is a Desert card in your graveyard.

Vigilance, reach, trample
This creature gets +1/+1 as long as you control a Desert.
This creature gets +1/+1 as long as there is a Desert card in your graveyard.

"Have no fear. Amy Rose is here!"
—Amy Rose

Open the Armory

Search your library for an Aura or Equipment card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

"If the world turns against me, I will fight as I always have."
—Shadow the Hedgehog

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Solve the Equation

Search your library for an instant or sorcery card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Mana Geyser

Add {R} for each tapped land your opponents control.

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt deals 3 damage to any target.

Fierce Guardianship

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Counter target noncreature spell.

Delayed Blast Fireball

Delayed Blast Fireball deals 2 damage to each opponent and each creature they control. If this spell was cast from exile, it deals 5 damage to each opponent and each creature they control instead.
Foretell {4}{R}{R} (During your turn, you may pay {2} and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)

"Four prints plus one murder weapon equals a case even Juri won't be able to wriggle out of."
—Agency memo

Clue

Coveted Jewel

When this artifact enters, draw three cards.
{T}: Add three mana of any one color.
Whenever one or more creatures an opponent controls attack you and aren't blocked, that player draws three cards and gains control of this artifact. Untap it.

Sakashima of a Thousand Faces // Sakashima of a Thousand Faces

You may have Sakashima enter as a copy of another creature you control, except it has Sakashima's other abilities.
The "legend rule" doesn't apply to permanents you control.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Yargle, Glutton of Urborg // Yargle, Glutton of Urborg

Krark, the Thumbless // Krark, the Thumbless

Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, return that spell to its owner's hand. If you win the flip, copy that spell, and you may choose new targets for the copy.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Adrix and Nev, Twincasters // Adrix and Nev, Twincasters

Ward {2} (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {2}.)
If one or more tokens would be created under your control, twice that many of those tokens are created instead.

Saproling

Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger // Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger

When you cast this spell, exile two target permanents.
Indestructible
Whenever Ulamog attacks, defending player exiles the top twenty cards of their library.

Etali, Primal Storm // Etali, Primal Storm

Whenever Etali attacks, exile the top card of each player's library, then you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Ghalta, Primal Hunger // Ghalta, Primal Hunger

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the total power of creatures you control.
Trample (This creature can deal excess combat damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking.)

"...and now they're trying to make a brick wall on my property fight a dinosaur to the death."

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

"Anna and Blaine said the ride was awesome. Yolanda and Zachary aren't back yet."

Main Event Horizon

As an additional cost to cast this spell, choose A through M or N through Z.
Destroy each creature whose name begins with a letter in the chosen range.

It's true that two heads are better than one, but after that you run into diminishing returns.

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Against the infinite backdrop of space, isn't all golf miniature?

How Is This a Par Three?!

Whenever you cast a spell, you may have target player mill X cards, where X is the number of words in that spell's name.

Early testing failed because the clones were all thumbs.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile this Aura.

Goblin Cruciverbalist

Haste
When this creature enters, create a colorless artifact token named your choice of A, E, I, O, or U.
Whenever this creature attacks, using the first letters of the names of permanents you control, spell a word you haven't spelled this game. It gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each letter in that word.

The animal and vegetable categories kind of merged over time.

Vegetation Abomination

Deathtouch
{T}, Sacrifice this creature: Roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

"I feel just like Kari Zev! Ragavan, set a course for Lathnu!"
—Vorthos, Steward of Myth

Swinging Ship

Visit — After the first combat phase this turn, there's an additional combat phase. At the beginning of that combat, untap all creatures that attacked this turn.

Skull Saucer

Flying
When Skull Saucer enters the battlefield, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Flying
When this creature enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice this creature when your head stops touching the table.

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Haste
You can attack with this creature once each combat during each opponent's turn.

"Something really special in the baloth category this season, in terms of spike density and quality. We'd like to get a word with the handler, but are unable to locate her at this time."

Beast in Show

"Not a surprise to see her on the podium. This paragon of tusk curvature is just the latest addition to the long championship lineage of Wildspeaker Ranch."

"We've not seen one of these on the podium for many seasons. Such magnificent posture and the perfect amount of telltale odor."

"A stunning example of the breed! Flawless plating, ruthlessly efficient death stroke, and an excellent drool shimmer."

Common side effects include headaches, ringing in ears, and excessive smithereens. In some cases, a small hole in space-time may develop.

Contraption Cannon

{2}, Sacrifice Contraption Cannon: It deals damage to target creature or player equal to the number of Contraptions you control.

{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: It deals damage to any target equal to the number of Contraptions you control.

Dungeon Master

[+1]: Target opponent creates a 1/1 black Skeleton creature token with "When this creature dies, each opponent gains 2 life."
[+1]: Roll a d20. If you roll a 1, skip your next turn. If you roll a 12 or higher, draw a card.
[−6]: You get an adventuring party. (Your party is a 3/3 red Fighter with first strike, a 1/1 white Cleric with lifelink, a 2/2 black Rogue with hexproof, and a 1/1 blue Wizard with flying.)