Marco Bucci

You haven't seen it until you see it in 6-D.

Gobsmacked

Enchant nonland permanent
As Gobsmacked enters the battlefield, choose a person outside the game.
As long as you can see the chosen person from your seat, enchanted permanent can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.

Enchant nonland permanent
As this Aura enters, choose a person outside the game.
As long as you can see the chosen person from your seat, enchanted permanent can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.

Starlight Spectacular

Parade! — At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose creatures you control one at a time until each creature you control has been chosen. Each of those creatures gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature chosen before it. (Places everyone! The first creature in line gets +0/+0.)

"Keep your hands and feet inside me at all times and enjoy the glubbbbrbb! Glbbglubb! Glb!"

Log Flume

Visit — Choose up to four creatures you control. Those creatures jump in a log until end of turn. (Creatures in a log together can't be blocked unless they're all blocked. If a spell or ability you control targets one of them, it targets all of them.)

The only ride that's never failed a safety inspection.

Kiddie Coaster

Visit — Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

It Came from Planet Glurg

You may have It Came from Planet Glurg enter as a copy of X different creatures on the battlefield. (It has their total power, total toughness, combined mana costs, all text boxes, names, art, and so on.)

Grand Marshal Macie

You may choose not to untap Grand Marshal Macie during your untap step. If you do, put a pause counter on it, then you lose 1 life for each pause counter on it.
Whenever Macie becomes untapped, remove all pause counters from it.
{2}, {T}: Choose an "until end of turn" or "this turn" effect. As long as Macie remains tapped, that effect doesn't end.

The sound it makes is indescribable and unsettling, but it does make a great clown.

Clown Extruder

Visit — Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.